The following lines are translated with ChatGPT!

It was an ordinary, boring afternoon. My son Teddy (let’s call him that for now) was in my arms, and as I rocked him to sleep, I glanced at the TV as usual, pondering what to watch next on Netflix.
After a brief search, something caught my eye – „The Witcher“.
I knew the game and had watched someone play it before. I liked it, but unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to explore it further. The series had been recommended to me several times, but there was always something that prevented me from watching it. Now, I had the time and the inclination, so I pressed play.
From the first minute, I was captivated. It was a strange, new feeling. I could hardly bring myself to blink, afraid of missing something, I found it so exciting. Somehow, the main character „Geralt“ seemed very familiar to me. I paused and googled. Then it dawned on me that I originally thought he was totally stupid and he annoyed me a few years ago. There was no particular reason, it was just a matter of principle.
My principle: a hot actor equaled: successful, desired by all women, and unattainable. An actor who had success because of his looks and not because of his performance.
The new Superman.
There was a hype around the world back then, just because of him. Being a girl who liked to swim against the current, I decided back then not to like him and rather not to watch movies, pictures, or anything else of him. Probably, I would have just reduced him to his appearance and not to his acting skills.

My principle suddenly seemed utterly absurd. It didn’t take 60 seconds before I was smitten with him.
Damn.
When Ean (let’s call him that for now) came home from work, I immediately turned off Netflix because I somehow felt caught. Complete nonsense, it was just a series.
Throughout the day, I felt strange. I felt a bit like I was in puberty, completely infatuated with a hot guy. Geralt just wouldn’t leave my mind. I imagined what it would be like to be in Ciri’s place, searching for the man who was my destiny.
I somehow compared it to my life. Apparently, I was on the verge of going completely crazy. Still, I was ecstatic about the late evening. When everyone else was asleep, I could continue watching the series and surrender to it completely, without interruptions from my partner or child. Completely alone in my own little world.
I watched episode after episode until late into the night. And then I realized that my son would be up again soon, and a new day began. I really needed to go to sleep. I turned off the series, but my mind kept revolving around Geralt. Eventually, sleep overcame me, only to find that my thoughts were not over. I dreamed of him.
A tall, strong, handsome guy who was looking for me and found me and protected me with all his might. I lay crying in his arms, wishing this wasn’t a dream. I felt more secure than ever before. Warmth flowed through my whole body, and my heart threatened to leap out of my chest.
Suddenly, I was woken from my dream because our dog Brownie (let’s call him that for now) was barking. Annoyed and still completely dazed, I tried to realize what had just happened. When it dawned on me again, I felt boiling hot. I was ashamed to the core, but I liked it. I felt something peculiar. A feeling I hadn’t felt in a very long time. Something stirred in my core, which hadn’t been used in ages. Okay, that sounded like official desperation! Cursing, I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to fall back asleep.
The next morning was very strange. Somehow, I had a terribly guilty conscience towards Ean, as if I had cheated on him. I couldn’t give him a normal goodbye kiss before he went to work. It felt wrong.
As soon as he left the house, I was again thinking only of the man who had given me a pretty nice dream. This dream was unique, and I felt incredibly good about it. Still, it remained a dream, and I had to focus on the bitter reality.
The morning routine was completed. The dog was walked, the household chores done, the child taken care of, and sleeping soundly in my arms again at noon. There I was again sitting on the couch and starting Netflix. I wondered if I should watch the Witcher now or postpone it until the evening. No, waiting was not an option!
My heart warmed up. There he was. The man I had dreamed about.
Holy shit, what was wrong with me?!

Dreams are something unique. They show many things, both beautiful and bad. Based on reality or wild fantasies. Sometimes, however, I believed that they meant something because they also reflected our deepest desires.

After a few minutes, I decided to put my son to bed. That way, I could sit more comfortably. Without further ado, I paused the series and took him to his room. Then I made myself comfortable on the couch and pressed play again. It did my soul good to see him and hear his voice. And then I was already at the end of the first season.
I often delay the last episodes of series because I don’t want them to end, like with this one. But this time it was a little different. I knew I couldn’t hold back the tears that would flow. I just wasn’t ready for that. Stirred up, I looked for an alternative on Netflix. Since my thoughts revolved exclusively around Geralt, distraction was sorely needed.

What the hell was wrong with me? What did this guy have that made me think about him so much and even dream about him?

I chose „Bridgerton“. When this series was released, I watched it once and thought about how elegant I had been in earlier times. Like Daphne, I could enchant almost anyone, which is no longer the case today.

Again, I pitied myself. What had become of me? I used to be a lively girl who was up for anything and always had an open ear for others. I only went home to sleep because I enjoyed life to the fullest.
And today, I hardly dared to go out the door, afraid that my illness would strike harder again and my psyche would take another hit.
On weekends, I worked as a cleaning lady for a few hours. After that, I was so exhausted as if I hadn’t slept for several days and had also run a marathon.
Every day, I experienced the same things. The dog, the child, the partner, and the household. My highlights consisted of when my baby learned something new and was happy about it, or when my cooking skills were particularly good again.
Trapped in the boring daily routine because I got sick, and fear was my constant companion.

Many more nights I dreamed of Geralt. They always ended with him holding me in his arms and protecting me. They were almost the most beautiful dreams I ever had. That’s what worried me insanely. I would never be able to tell anyone about it because it was so embarrassing, childish, and totally crazy. Superficially, I thought I had fallen in love with Geralt. But how could that be? That was impossible. Still, I felt that something strange was going on. My dreams wanted to tell me something, I just didn’t know what it was.
As happy as I felt in my dreams when he was with me, talked to me, or held me in his arms, I hadn’t been for many years. He was just there for me and helped me get through this endless horror.

Weeks went by, and gradually my thoughts returned to how they used to be. Just because I had beautiful dreams didn’t mean the worries would disappear. But somehow, after these dreams, I suddenly looked at the world with different eyes. More optimistically. Why? No idea!
With a lot of ambition and an enormous amount of patience, I might be able to get out of my rut. A glimmer of hope.

I resolved to do more for my well-being. I had let myself go for too long. My first goal was my desired weight. At 90 kg with a height of 156 cm, I was clearly overweight. Before pregnancy, I weighed 56 kg, and that’s exactly where I wanted to get back to.
In the evenings, I started with small workout sessions. Every day I managed a little more and was super proud of myself. The first times were really tough, but with a lot of discipline, I achieved my planned program.
Honestly, I tended to overdo it because I couldn’t accept that I had muscle soreness for a whole week after just ten minutes of hula-hooping. My goodness, I used to do gymnastics for hours, danced incredibly much, and never felt any pain afterward!
Cycling was also part of my routine again. I preferred to ride through the fields into the forest. Once in the forest, I liked to listen to nature. Another reason why I moved away from my hometown. I loved nature. The greenery, the scent, and the sounds somehow had a calming effect. In those moments, I wondered why I hadn’t started doing this much earlier, and then it occurred to me again.
I remembered the first dream with Geralt and felt deep contentment. At the same time, happiness and joy of life.

All those years I had experienced so much bad until the day I became a mother. My son was one of the greatest gifts. I wouldn’t give him up for anything in the world. However, my love for him came rather late.

Most mothers talk about love at first sight shortly after giving birth. It wasn’t like that for me. From the moment I found out about the pregnancy, everything was pretty unbelievable to me. When the birth ended, I was glad that the pain was over, but I felt no trace of love. Don’t get me wrong… I found him incredibly cute! He was incredibly tiny and delicate. He weighed only 1350 grams at birth. So he was really, really small!

It took many weeks for me to realize that a little being was growing in my belly, was pushed out of me, and now lay in my arms. I never had that special bond that many mothers rave about when breastfeeding. It just didn’t work out that way for us. Honestly, I made myself crazy about it, which also affected the milk production. I really didn’t know where exactly the problem between my son and me was, but it just wasn’t meant to be. In the end, we stuck with pre-made baby formula.

Somehow, I felt like I had totally failed in the first months as a mother. It wasn’t until over a year later that I realized how much I loved my child and realized the huge responsibility I now had. Don’t get me wrong… I wasn’t a bad mother in the beginning! I just couldn’t accept it and therefore didn’t put as much love into my actions as other mothers.

Despite the feelings of happiness and newfound joy of life, I longed for a man like Geralt from my dreams. A man with whom I would feel the same as with him and who would treat me just like he did.

The most beautiful feeling one can experience is love. It is an unshakable force that gives one support and strength. With it, you do things you wouldn’t have been able to do before.

Of course, Ean felt the change I was going through. He constantly asked me what was wrong with me, that I was so different. Out of shame, I lied to him and replied that everything was fine. I couldn’t tell him that I wanted to change my life just because I had beautiful dreams about an actor. Even to me, that sounds like I belong in a psychiatric ward. No, these dreams remained a secret. At least for now.

Meanwhile, I was doing my workouts so well that I already saw significant changes. Instead of 90 kg, the scale showed only 68 kg. My desired weight was therefore not far away.
Admittedly, the training was anything but easy. It was a drastic change that my body struggled to cope with. I ate far too little because my stomach couldn’t handle such a burden. I constantly had heartburn, and I felt nauseous, which prevented me from eating. Breathing was also very difficult for me during this time, due to the pain in the rib area. However, somehow my body got used to it. While doing my workouts, I thought about things that made me happy to drown out the pain. Sounds stupid, and it is, but I thought about Geralt and my dreams. He motivated me tremendously.
He was like balm for my soul.

More days passed, and with my sleeping son in my arms, I thought about what I could watch on Netflix. I almost forgot that I still had an episode of the Witcher ahead of me, which I postponed because I didn’t want to cry. I got up, put my son in his bed, got some tissues, and started the last episode.
An hour later, the first season was over. Sobbing, I sat on the couch and wished I were in Ciri’s place. My head was pounding, and my eyes were burning from crying so hard. I had never cried so much in my life. I couldn’t understand why the ending affected me so much. It was just a series after all.
A series that I eagerly awaited the next season of. I grabbed my phone and searched the entire internet for when the next season would be released on Netflix. Unfortunately, I didn’t find anything, but I read that another season had already been filmed. Well, at least. I just had to wait patiently. Patience was not exactly one of my strongest attributes.

Furthermore, I saw that Geralt, or rather Henry, had an Instagram account. I had never looked at him closely before, neither in films nor in series, videos, or photos.
In my head, a big movie was playing.
What if I had seen him earlier? Would I have started turning my life around sooner? Would I have ever reached a point where I had been until recently? I threw my phone aside, rubbed my face with both hands to gather my thoughts, and looked back at the TV.
My God, this couldn’t be true! The movie „Man of Steel“ was displayed on the TV screen in big letters. I had never seen the movie either. Laughing, I pressed play.

Barely had the movie ended, the tears started flowing again. I rarely cried during movies, and certainly not so hard that it gave me a headache or made me sob. Honestly, I had only cried at one movie before – „The Lord of the Rings.“ And I had never cried so hard in painful situations or similar.

Why did I dream of him so often? Why did I feel this way? Why did I cry because of him? Okay, „crying“ was an understatement, I was bawling! What the hell was this?
I would have liked to ask him these questions in person. It drove me crazy!
Henry played in a higher league. A much higher one. By the way, a guy like him wouldn’t give me more than a nice smile and an autograph in a personal encounter. Moreover, we couldn’t even have a conversation because my English was so rusty that I could only ask him for the time at best.

Apparently, I wished for things that were unattainable. These thoughts really drove me crazy, and I was still ashamed of them.

That same evening, I gathered all my courage and told a friend Nicki (let’s call her that), whom I knew from my hometown, about my biggest wish. I had never entrusted this wish to anyone before. For many, many years, I had wished for a joint photo with all the main actors from the Lord of the Rings.
How did I suddenly come up with this idea? Several times a year, I watched the trilogy, and recently it was time again. This made me think of my big dream.
Originally, this dream had burst, but then Henry Cavill came into my life and left deep traces. His existence, even if I noticed it late, gave me more joy in life again, and my heart was filled with warmth and happiness. Suddenly, everything changed. My dream wouldn’t come true completely, but I planned something to at least come close. Now all I had to do was learn English.
Done and done. I used Henry for that. I browsed his Instagram account, read a lot, watched and listened to his videos, and was absolutely fascinated by him. His voice was divine! So deep, calm, and at the same time a little threatening. Somehow, it was also the perfect voice for a podcast.

For me, the easiest way was practice.
Through Henry’s texts and videos, I quickly tried to learn his language. At first, I didn’t understand a thing, and none of it made sense. Later, I could decipher individual words, but a translator app had to take care of the rest. After some time, fortunately, it became easier. If I had paid more attention in school, this problem wouldn’t have existed. Well, irony of fate. I also watched some of his movies and the Witcher again, but with the original sound and German subtitles. Seriously, his voice was really insanely sexy!

I devised a plan to fulfill my wish. I wanted to write a letter that would reach all the main actors from the Lord of the Rings. In this letter, I would express the wish that each of them would leave a greeting. I would tell them about my childhood dream and explain that, due to health reasons, I was not able to personally ask them for it for an indefinite period of time. I was firmly convinced that I would implement this plan. If this letter traveled around the world and returned to me, my greatest heartfelt wish would come true.
And then the idea came to me to write a similar letter to Henry. I would like to thank him for changing my life. But how could I explain it to him without him thinking I was a crazy fan or just plain crazy? Actually, he hadn’t done anything special, except his job as an actor. And he did it pretty well! He was a damn good Geralt, they couldn’t have found a better one. Oh yeah, and of course, he visited me in my dreams.

For a week, I thought about what I could write to Henry. I told my friend Nicki, whom I entrusted with my heartfelt wish, about this plan. She found the idea very appealing and encouraged me. I confessed how incredibly happy it made me to confide in her and how good it felt to talk about it. I had never done anything like this before! I had never had friends to whom I could entrust such deep wishes.
And then I had an idea.

Since I was 15 years old, I have been writing small stories from time to time. You might think it was like a diary, but that wasn’t my intention. Some stories were true, while others were pure fantasy. I shared some of my stories online and received positive feedback, which of course encouraged me to continue writing. The stories that were true weren’t written out of joy but as a kind of therapy that I needed back then. Many of my actions described in them didn’t make me proud, but I regretted none of them and always learned from them.

A personal short story to Henry would be just right. That way, he wouldn’t think I was crazy and could understand why I was writing him a letter thanking him for changing my life. At least, I hoped so.
I spent hours writing many different things. Some of it was difficult for me. Especially what concerned my family. I loved and hated them. I often imagined what my life would have been like if I hadn’t left them back then. The answer to that, however, is up in the stars. But every time I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that it was the right decision. However, I could never really let go of them. The desire for love was too great, and for them to finally accept me for who I was and still am.

The introduction to my story was written. Then came the main part, and these lines were somehow even harder than those about my family. I often put off writing the text because I was afraid of coming across differently than intended. What I least needed was pity. Neither for my family, nor for my illness, or for all that I experienced. And even less did I want him to think I just wanted to beg for his attention like a crazy fan. No, what I wanted to achieve with it was solely to express my endless gratitude.
Actually, complete nonsense, but still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had to do it. I found he deserved to know that he saved a girl’s life on the other side of the world. Yes, I’m talking about saving a life! Anyone who has ever been in a situation like mine knows exactly how I felt. I was ready to die. But I couldn’t take my own life. Apparently, the universe didn’t want my death yet.
I had forgotten who I was, what made me unique, and almost lost my soul because of it. Maybe I really was crazy now.
When I saw Henry in my dreams, I felt something that I had missed for a very long time. Courage. The courage to keep on living. All those years, I allowed myself to drown in self-pity and saw no way out. I only saw the bad and never a hint of anything positive. I just felt terrible.
As I wrote the letter, I cried constantly. But not out of self-pity. No, I was incredibly proud to have found my way out of this endless swamp and to see hope. And all because of Henry Cavill. He opened my eyes by accompanying me through my dreams. He gave me many things that I forgot I needed. Trust, affection, strength, patience, and above all, love. A very special kind of love. I realized that fate had something else in store for me and that my life was far from over.
For this reason, I wanted to thank him. For this reason, I wrote this letter. Suddenly, the dreams with him became my most valuable possession. From them, I drew all my strength to continue to have hope for a life as I had always dreamed it.

I would almost call Henry an angel in black armor. Through him, my soul could finally shine again, and for that, I would be eternally grateful. Normally, I was too proud for such emotional expressions and would never have thought that I could open up to someone I had never met personally. But in this letter, I felt as liberated as never before. Although I couldn’t be sure if he would actually read it, something deep inside me told me that I would trigger something extraordinary with it. What exactly, I didn’t know at that time, but I would find out soon.
I knew that this path would be a long journey. I had to stay on the ball because it wouldn’t work out on the first try. After all, he undoubtedly received a ton of mail.




– Subject to change